We Don't See Things as They Are. We See Them as We Are

How Perception Shapes Reality

Two people walk into a room. One sees opportunity; the other sees obstacles.

A single event happens—one person interprets it as a setback, and another sees it as a lesson.

Same world. Different experiences.

Why? Because perception isn’t objective. It’s filtered through the lens of who we are—our past, beliefs, and emotional state.

Anaïs Nin’s words, “We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are,” capture a fundamental truth: Reality isn’t something we passively receive; it’s something we actively shape.

But how often do we question the lens through which we see the world?

How often do we consider how our interpretation of events might have more to do with us than with the events themselves?

The Lens of Experience

Imagine two people sitting in traffic.

One is tapping the steering wheel, humming along to music. They see the traffic as a chance to relax, maybe listen to a podcast.

The other is gripping the wheel in frustration, muttering under their breath. To them, this is yet another example of their day going wrong.

The traffic is the same. The experience is not.

Their responses aren’t about the traffic. They’re about them.

We interpret situations based on what we’ve internalized over time—our past disappointments, our expectations, and our mindset.

Someone who has experienced repeated rejection might automatically assume people don’t like them, even when there’s no evidence for it.

Someone who grew up in scarcity might struggle to trust financial opportunities, even when they’re real.

Someone who’s been betrayed before might see every new relationship through a filter of suspicion, whether it’s warranted or not.

We don’t see things as they are. We see them through the stories we tell ourselves.

How Your Mind Shapes Your Reality

Your brain doesn’t just receive information—it actively filters it.

Psychologists call this confirmation bias—the tendency to interpret new information in a way that confirms what you already believe.

If you believe people are generally selfish, you’ll notice every small act of selfishness around you and ignore the acts of kindness.

If you believe you’re not good enough, you’ll magnify every mistake and dismiss your successes.

Your brain isn’t trying to deceive you; it’s trying to make sense of the world based on what it already knows.

The question is: Is what you already know serving you?

The Cost of a Distorted Lens

Our perceptions don’t just shape how we feel; they shape how we act.

• If you see failure as a sign that you’re not meant to succeed, you’ll give up too soon.

• If you see criticism as a personal attack, you’ll miss valuable feedback.

• If you see abundance as something meant for other people, you’ll never take the risks needed to create it for yourself.

The way you see the world determines what you allow yourself to pursue.

If your lens is flawed, your decisions will be, too.

Challenging Your Own Perspective

The good news? Your perception isn’t fixed. You can choose a new lens.

Here’s how:

1. Question Your Assumptions
   Ask yourself: Is this really true, or is this just how I see it? Challenge the thoughts that limit you.

2. Expose Yourself to Different Perspectives
   Read books that challenge your beliefs. Have conversations with people who see the world differently. Step outside your mental bubble.

3. Reframe the Situation
   Instead of seeing obstacles, ask: What is this teaching me? Instead of assuming rejection, ask: What else could this mean? Perspective is powerful.

4. Notice What You Focus On
   Your brain finds what it looks for. If you focus on lack, you’ll see lack. If you focus on possibility, you’ll see opportunities. What are you choosing to notice?

5. Become the Observer
   Step outside of yourself for a moment. Instead of reacting emotionally, ask: If someone else were in my position, how might they see this differently?

Final Thought

Your world isn’t just made up of what happens to you—it’s made up of how you interpret what happens to you.

And that interpretation? It’s within your control.

If you change the way you see things, you change the way you experience life.

So, what’s one perspective you’ve been holding onto that might be limiting you? And what new lens could you choose instead?